30-year marriage ending. Where do I even start?
CAwillow_oak1 month ago
Married 30 years. I haven't filed taxes alone, haven't had a credit card in my name, haven't been on a lease alone. The legal part scares me less than the life part.
Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.
3 replies
starting_over_20261 month ago
I was you 18 months ago. The first step that mattered: open a checking account in only your name, at a different bank than the joint one. Then pull your credit report — free at annualcreditreport.com. Two small acts of independence and the rest got less scary.
marisol_v1 month ago
Sending you so much warmth. After a long marriage, get on calendar with a therapist if you can — even one visit a month. The legal stuff has a finish line. The grief and identity stuff is its own track.
Lawma Moderator1 month ago
Long-marriage cases in CA can also involve permanent spousal support considerations under Family Code §4320. An attorney consultation early is worth more than reading articles. If cost is a barrier, lsc.gov/find-help locates legal-aid offices that handle long-marriage divorces.
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Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.