Can I move out of state with the kids?
Job offer in another state. Kids are in elementary school. Other parent will object. Realistic chances?
Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.
Job offer in another state. Kids are in elementary school. Other parent will object. Realistic chances?
✓ Verified answer from a licensed attorney — shown first
Move-away cases are one of the most contested in family law. In CA the analysis depends heavily on the current custody arrangement: if you have sole physical custody, the burden is on the other parent to show the move harms the children (LaMusga / Burgess line of cases). If you share joint physical custody, it's a best-interest analysis from scratch. Either way the court looks at the reason for the move (a real job, not a maneuver), distance, the children's ties to the community, the existing visitation schedule, and whether you've been a 'friendly co-parent.' This is one of those decisions you do not want to file pro per — get a focused consult before you accept the job, not after.
Adding: if your current order doesn't address moves, build a proposed long-distance visitation plan BEFORE the hearing — extended summer block, school-break splits, video calls weekly, travel-cost allocation. Showing up with a thoughtful plan beats showing up arguing you should be allowed to move.
Around the case
Other things people in your situation usually need to handle. Some are paid partners; some are free community resources — labeled clearly.
Court Self-Help Center
Free signature + form witness · Free
Most US counties have a free Court Self-Help Center (or Family Law Facilitator's Office). They review papers, witness signatures, and explain procedure. No appointment usually required.
Find your nearest SHC →Sesame Workshop — Divorce toolkit
Talking-to-kids resources · Free
Free professional toolkit for explaining family changes to young kids — videos, conversation starters, printable activity sheets.
Browse the toolkit →Swift Serve
Process server · $90–$120 typical
Same-day service on family-court papers. Flat fee, transparent pricing, certified Proof of Service delivered back.
Get a quote →Share what helped you. Be kind — and remember this is your experience, not legal advice.
Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.