Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.

How do I find a DV shelter without him knowing?

CAanon_safety1 month ago

I need to leave. He monitors my phone and computer. How do I research shelters safely?

2 replies

✓ Verified answer from a licensed attorney — shown first

Rania Haddad avatarRania HaddadVerified Attorney1 month ago

Adding — if you're in CA, county-specific shelters can be located via cdph.ca.gov or your county's Family Justice Center. Don't worry about identifying the 'best' shelter — the right one is whichever has a bed today.

Lawma Moderator1 month ago

Three safer options: (1) Call the National DV Hotline from a friend's phone or a library phone: 1-800-799-7233. (2) Text START to 88788 (the text version of the same hotline) from a phone or device he doesn't have access to. (3) Walk into any hospital ER or police station and ask for a 'DV advocate' — they will connect you to local shelters confidentially. Local public libraries also have private computers and staff who are trained to help. If you suspect device monitoring, use one of these channels rather than searching from your usual phone or computer.

Add your reply

Share what helped you. Be kind — and remember this is your experience, not legal advice.

Share what you’re going through — your name stays private. Drafts saved as you type Alerts when someone replies Same handle every visitCreate a free account →Already have one? Sign in.Posts show under a community handle (e.g. member-3f8a21 by default, or pick your own). Your real name is never shown to other members.Are you a lawyer? Apply to be verified — verified lawyers post under their name + firm, and show up in the directory.

Plain text is fine. You can also make text **bold** or *italic*, start a line with “- ” for a list or “> ” to quote someone, or add a link like [name](https://example.com). Tap Preview to see how it will look.

Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.