Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.

Court won't ask my kid what they want, right?

CAdeepwater1 month ago

My 12-year-old has told me she wants to live with me. Will the court hear her?

1 reply

✓ Verified answer from a licensed attorney — shown first

Grace Mensah avatarGrace MensahVerified Attorney1 month ago

In CA, Family Code §3042 requires the court to consider the wishes of a child 14+ who wants to address custody. For 12-13 year olds it's discretionary based on whether the child has sufficient capacity. The child isn't put on the witness stand — typically a child interview is done by a Court Investigator, minor's counsel, or in chambers. Strong word of caution: do not coach your kid or talk to her about the case to prepare her for an interview. Investigators are trained to spot it, and it backfires hard. Let her say what she'll say.

Around the case

Other things people in your situation usually need to handle. Some are paid partners; some are free community resources — labeled clearly.

🤝 Community resource · We don't earn from this

Court Self-Help Center

Free signature + form witness · Free

Most US counties have a free Court Self-Help Center (or Family Law Facilitator's Office). They review papers, witness signatures, and explain procedure. No appointment usually required.

Find your nearest SHC
★ Lawma trusts this · Not an ad

Sesame Workshop — Divorce toolkit

Talking-to-kids resources · Free

Free professional toolkit for explaining family changes to young kids — videos, conversation starters, printable activity sheets.

Browse the toolkit
✦ Sponsored partner

Swift Serve

Process server · $90–$120 typical

Same-day service on family-court papers. Flat fee, transparent pricing, certified Proof of Service delivered back.

Get a quote

Add your reply

Share what helped you. Be kind — and remember this is your experience, not legal advice.

Share what you’re going through — your name stays private. Drafts saved as you type Alerts when someone replies Same handle every visitCreate a free account →Already have one? Sign in.Posts show under a community handle (e.g. member-3f8a21 by default, or pick your own). Your real name is never shown to other members.Are you a lawyer? Apply to be verified — verified lawyers post under their name + firm, and show up in the directory.

Plain text is fine. You can also make text **bold** or *italic*, start a line with “- ” for a list or “> ” to quote someone, or add a link like [name](https://example.com). Tap Preview to see how it will look.

Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.