Court won't ask my kid what they want, right?
My 12-year-old has told me she wants to live with me. Will the court hear her?
Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.
My 12-year-old has told me she wants to live with me. Will the court hear her?
✓ Verified answer from a licensed attorney — shown first
In CA, Family Code §3042 requires the court to consider the wishes of a child 14+ who wants to address custody. For 12-13 year olds it's discretionary based on whether the child has sufficient capacity. The child isn't put on the witness stand — typically a child interview is done by a Court Investigator, minor's counsel, or in chambers. Strong word of caution: do not coach your kid or talk to her about the case to prepare her for an interview. Investigators are trained to spot it, and it backfires hard. Let her say what she'll say.
Around the case
Other things people in your situation usually need to handle. Some are paid partners; some are free community resources — labeled clearly.
Court Self-Help Center
Free signature + form witness · Free
Most US counties have a free Court Self-Help Center (or Family Law Facilitator's Office). They review papers, witness signatures, and explain procedure. No appointment usually required.
Find your nearest SHC →Sesame Workshop — Divorce toolkit
Talking-to-kids resources · Free
Free professional toolkit for explaining family changes to young kids — videos, conversation starters, printable activity sheets.
Browse the toolkit →Swift Serve
Process server · $90–$120 typical
Same-day service on family-court papers. Flat fee, transparent pricing, certified Proof of Service delivered back.
Get a quote →Share what helped you. Be kind — and remember this is your experience, not legal advice.
Please readThis is a community space for sharing personal experience — it is not legal advice, and posts here are not from Lawma or your attorney. We strongly encourage you to post under an anonymous handle, keep questions general, and avoid posting private details of your active case. For advice about your own situation, message your attorney.